Point of View: Rules of Thumb

By Nan Jacobs © June 2001

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Author's note: This article discusses "close third person" point of view,
which is the most commonly used POV in the romance genre.
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These days it's a rare romance novel that limits itself to a single character's viewpoint. Today's readers usually experience the story through the POV's of the hero, the heroine, secondary characters (if they're important to the story line), and the villain (if there is one).

It's the author's job to choose with care the POV character for each scene, and to exercise equal care when switching POV from one character to another.

RULE OF THUMB: The dramatic effect of a scene is heightened if experienced through the viewpoint of the character with the most at stake. Consider your characters' goals, motivations, and conflicts to determine who has more to win or lose. If a scene plays out flat, try changing the viewpoint character.

RULE OF THUMB: One POV per scene. Story tension is greater when the reader doesn't know the non-POV character's internal reaction to the events right away. Sometimes the at-stakes balance shifts in a scene, therefore a POV switch might enhance the scene. Some "POV purists" would rather see one POV per chapter. BUT:
A case in point as to why Rules of Thumb should be considered "Guidelines" and not "Ultimate Truths":
A well-known, best-selling (two on the NYT list, including #1, as I write this) romance author switches POV not only within a scene, but also, often, each time the dialogue changes hands... well, mouths. It's called "head hopping" and might cause the reader to feel like he's at a ping-pong match. This author, however, tells stories and evokes emotions like few others can, and makes the POV changes clear and seamless. Go on and head hop if that's your style, but:

RULE OF THUMB: Make the POV change clear. This is not a guideline; this is a "You VILL!" You do not want to make your reader work to figure out whose head he's in. Do you prefer peeled shrimp or U-peel-it shrimp? Which shrimp do you mindlessly pop into your mouth, and which shrimp distracts you from the big screen TV?
For example:

Jenna grabbed the jangling phone from the cradle.

"Hi, this is Susan from XYZ credit card company and…"

Jenna rolled her eyes. Would these telemarketers never give up? "No thank you, Susan," she said in a voice she hoped would wither the phone lines. "Do you people understand what 'no' means? Why don't you get a real job? If you don't stop calling, I'm going to scream!"

This woman was being a real snot. Who did she think she was? Didn't she understand that telemarketers are people, too? "Take that!" Susan hung up on her potential--ha!--customer just as her supervisor loomed behind her.

Readers pick up POV cues both consciously and subconsciously. In the example above, POV changed from Jenna to Susan with "This woman". The reader, however, probably thinks Susan's first two thoughts are Jenna's thoughts since, under the circumstances, the thoughts could belong to Jenna, the example started out in Jenna's POV, and nothing signals a change. When the reader comes to Susan's third thought, which is clearly not Jenna's, he'll stop to review the passage and reorient himself. You've distracted him from the story.
Make the POV unmistakably Susan's with a tag:

Jenna … (etc) "If you don't stop calling, I'm going to scream!"

Susan bit back a scream of her own. This woman was being a real snot…. (etc.)

Roger that POV.

RULE OF THUMB: Make the POV change "seamless". If the reader consciously notices every POV shift, you've drawn him out of the story (however, be forewarned, a radical POV purist would be distracted by a POV switch in the Kamasutra. Can't please everyone.).
To shift POV smoothly within a scene, characters can figuratively pass the POV to each other, either physically (a handshake, a longing gaze, a bullet? *g*) or emotionally (anger spreads). Dialogue with emotional subtext lends itself well to a POV change.

RULE OF THUMB: Avoid "I'm So Gawgeous Syndrome" (ISGS). This one is common to beginners and is usually unintentional.

Allison gazed across the boardwalk. The man in the Panama hat had been feeding the gulls air, as far as she could tell. What was his purpose? She swept a lock of her long, wavy, luxuriant, coal-black hair out of her fair-complexioned face, and narrowed her luminous green eyes. She stroked the pistol secured to her slim thigh. She was ready for him.

The writer has established Allison's close third person POV with the cues, "as far as she could tell" and Allison's questioning thought of what the man's purpose might be. Then the writer slips out of the character's POV and into her own. It's called "author intrusion" and, in this case, serves only to distance the reader (While you're fixing things, delete that ugly adjective train, too.).

To unmask this inconsistency, do the "ISGS" test. Replace third person with first person:

I swept a lock of my long, wavy, luxuriant, coal-black hair out of my fair-complexioned face, and narrowed my luminous green eyes….and… yadda yadda…to my slim thigh.
Well! I'm so gawgeous!

Completely unnatural (Or … it should be.).

If you want to describe your character through her own POV, try relating her self-description to her environment:

Allison gingerly drew a hank of her hair before her face. Normally coal-black and wavy, the long strands were silver and stiff as icicles in the sub-zero, whiteout conditions. Bad enough her fingers were frost bitten. Now her hair, too!

Or work it into her internal dialogue:

Damn this tangled mess! She was too old for waist-length hair. If only it weren't so wavy and thick. And the color… ugh. Her friends called it "coal-black". Ha! Men never looked twice at hair the color of rocks mined from the hills of Pennsylvania. (Clearly Allison has a self-esteem problem!)

RULE OF THUMB: Each POV character should have a function in the overall story. Some authors--not always beginners!--give POV's to every walk-on character. If the snake in the laundry basket has a POV (no matter how unintentional), the reader notices and subconsciously expects the snake's purpose to eventually be revealed. When you give an inconsequential character a POV, you mess with reader expectations, hinder pacing, and dilute the tension. Usually. *g*

The importance of POV choices may be easily overlooked. I hope I've imparted due respect for POV's role in creating first-class fiction.